Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Time is limited. I didn’t bother much about it until I lost one of my closest male friends last year.
He happily told me that he’s getting married. In fact, I supposed to march with them at the entourage. His fiance was someone outside my circle of friends so we only got a few chances to talk the girls talk when you’re soon to march on your wedding day. Nevertheless, she’s a great person and I know my friend would not have chosen her to be his bride had she not been one. Although I was really excited, I became passive during the waiting period believing that everything was in order. Well, everything really was… except for my friend.
December was nearly approaching. It was in July when I last heard of the wedding during our meeting with the rest of the secondary sponsors. He did look fine that time, although his thinning figure was very noticeable. I thought it was just normal. Months unfolded without a single report on the event. Still I didn’t bother, confident that things were under control. It was early October when I got a call from the fiance that they were calling the wedding off. For some reason, I again didn’t mind so much why. I was thinking to seek my friend’s final advice first before erupting like a little child, eager to understand the things I was missing at some pages. Little did I know that he was then suffering from cancer already. Only when the bride-to-be called me to confirm again that they’re not going to do the wedding this year anymore that I was seriously alarmed. I sent a couple of messages to him day after another even without receiving any response. He’s living just a few kilometers away but I never thought of visiting him, not that time yet.
At the fourth week of that same month, I got another call that broke me sore. He died. Suffering from liver cancer, he died without informing anyone (including me) apart from his fiancé and family. I should have asked further what was wrong during the days when he’s still able to answer me. I should have cared more about his welfare and bothered to inquire about his state. I should not have wasted any minute thinking that things were doing well when he was ultimately not. I should have learned earlier that time is not in my hands, neither in his, because only until I lost it that realization came to me with a very painful surprise.
He happily told me that he’s getting married. In fact, I supposed to march with them at the entourage. His fiance was someone outside my circle of friends so we only got a few chances to talk the girls talk when you’re soon to march on your wedding day. Nevertheless, she’s a great person and I know my friend would not have chosen her to be his bride had she not been one. Although I was really excited, I became passive during the waiting period believing that everything was in order. Well, everything really was… except for my friend.
December was nearly approaching. It was in July when I last heard of the wedding during our meeting with the rest of the secondary sponsors. He did look fine that time, although his thinning figure was very noticeable. I thought it was just normal. Months unfolded without a single report on the event. Still I didn’t bother, confident that things were under control. It was early October when I got a call from the fiance that they were calling the wedding off. For some reason, I again didn’t mind so much why. I was thinking to seek my friend’s final advice first before erupting like a little child, eager to understand the things I was missing at some pages. Little did I know that he was then suffering from cancer already. Only when the bride-to-be called me to confirm again that they’re not going to do the wedding this year anymore that I was seriously alarmed. I sent a couple of messages to him day after another even without receiving any response. He’s living just a few kilometers away but I never thought of visiting him, not that time yet.
At the fourth week of that same month, I got another call that broke me sore. He died. Suffering from liver cancer, he died without informing anyone (including me) apart from his fiancé and family. I should have asked further what was wrong during the days when he’s still able to answer me. I should have cared more about his welfare and bothered to inquire about his state. I should not have wasted any minute thinking that things were doing well when he was ultimately not. I should have learned earlier that time is not in my hands, neither in his, because only until I lost it that realization came to me with a very painful surprise.
Posted in: best of friends,lasting words,life that is,writing marathon
3 comments:
The thing is we really don’t know if we are supposed to do anything at all except believed that we have loved our friends truly and genuinely and that’s enough. Your title is a give away: the time is ours. He had his according to God’s plan and time table. The Word says that we will have trials and tribulations and we will die; the key is to pray for the strength to go “thru” these difficult times, for us and the people we love. I think your friend already knew you were there for him all the way until the end.
I can't be thankful enough for once having him in my life. His passing brings tears to me even today :(
Yeah some thinks we think a lot.
May his soul rest in peace.
Follow each other.
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