practicing independence

I am thirty and no matter how much I try to just shrug it all off, my every fiber would always crave for independence. I want to do something that I’ve never done before – something that would label my birthright, my self-governance, my life. 

For months, I have been daydreaming of working abroad where I can start everything all over again, alone. Yeah, it’s true that I once said that working overseas would never be an option for me. But people do change their minds especially on a T-junction state — again, let me reiterate, I’m thirty. I should be living life more independently than all the years behind. 

When I was in Cebu, I remember telling my travel agents that that place was good for a solitary trip. That very moment I was floating in the idea of exploring the countryside without anyone’s aid. I want to do it alone, for now. I have travelled many times with companions and I completely know how amazing it is to discover treasures from places to places along with your friends and family. But through it all, I couldn’t remark a particular scenario that I gave space for myself to learn more, to think broader, to appreciate life in a deeper sense. 

Now, I came up deciding about leaving home. Well, not really to abandon my family. This is a leap of faith in exercising my independence — the step one. I am very soon moving in to a nearer domicile. When I was in college, I envied all my classmates who were able and permitted to live on students’ lodge and dormitories. Perhaps that time, all I understood was I should be with my parents and that’s all. Well now that I’m older, I supposed that they would not take it against me if I choose to live and take care of myself for a while. As mountaineers’ creed say, you can’t climb a hill without even trying to walk a kilometer from home to highway. The same is true with my desire to work abroad. I can’t see myself comfortably living for about thousands of miles away from home if I will not practice independence here and now. 

Honestly, I’m afraid and at the same time, hopeful. Do give me a cheer and a pat on my shoulder as soon as I move in to my new place and I will show you around when it happens. 

Posted in: girl thing,life that is,making sense of life,personal perspectives