work-love balance

As career-driven partners, we have to learn to reconcile our work responsibilities with our responsibilities as a couple. We need to put just as much time and effort into our love life as we do into our work; otherwise, either of us may feel neglected and get the impression that all we care about is our career (and consequently, our individual selves alone).

Here’s the “agreed” bucket list, signed and posted as sticky notes on our computers:

SET AND SHARED GOALS. We will be supportive rather than resentful of the time we have to spend apart while at work. This is our way of letting each other know that the effort we put into work is not only for individual benefit, but for the future we’re both working toward as well.

ESTABLISHED EXPECTATIONS. We will inform each other what to expect with regard to our regular work schedule, as well as the possibility of occasionally working overtime and going out of town should the job require it. For instance, we may both agree that certain days of the week should be designated as exclusive "couple time," but it might be harder to make time for each other on other days. 

MANAGING TIME EFFECTIVELY. We will avoid procrastinating and concentrate on what we’re doing at work in order to finish on time—and consequently, have the incentive of getting more hours to spend with each other afterwards.

MAKING NECESSARY LIFE ADJUSTMENTS. Balancing our career and our love life won’t be easy. But that doesn’t mean we’ll have to choose one over the other. Both our career and our love life are our priority, so we have to devote time and effort to each of them, supportively.

SEPARATING CAREER FROM LOVE LIFE. We have to remember that our bosses are not going to take “I had an argument with my girl/boyfriend” as an excuse for a poorly prepared presentation, and neither should we. We will try to learn to concentrate and to compartmentalize. Cell phones will be put on silent (or switch it off) when we’re on a date. Answering a call from work when we’re in the middle of telling each other about our day is rude and potentially hurtful.

MAKING OURSELVES FEEL SPECIAL AND LOVED. We will keep a constant, genuine communication between us because once this aspect of our relationship deteriorates, this may seriously deplete the trust and emotional intimacy we share. Remember, it’s not enough to simply tell “I love you;” we want to know we’re interested in each other and in what the other has to say.

ENGAGING SOME AFTER-WORK DE-STRESSING, TOGETHER. While a long, tiring day at the office is enough to keep anyone’s temper and stress levels running high, the last thing we want is to have one take it all out on the other--especially if one had a long, tiring day at work too. We can go out with friends and have the liberty to unwind alone without taking each other forgranted, at all.

TAKING TIME FOR DATES AND WEEKEND GETAWAYS. Not only does a reprieve from work allow us time to relax and de-stress, but it also gives the opportunity to bond, rekindle the romance in our relationship and concentrate on nothing and no one else but each other. 

Each point is never easy but is very much workable. Nothing is too difficult anyway if you do it out of serving and upholding your special someone's welfare. 

Sounds so loving, isn’t it?

Posted in: girl thing,making sense of life