don't minimize your grief

Even though those men were only passing through, there still was inevitable mourning about their loss, sobbing loudly while sprawled on the couch, drinking unfamiliar wine, listening to torch songs, and feeling desperately sorry for myself. Those breakups lent drama to my otherwise mind-numbing single life. The death of another relationship became another drama—the kind I thought I’d never experienced again—the kind that breaks you down, tears you up, and can land you in a mental hospital with slit wrists.

From one interesting article, I read the following stages that perfectly define the declining indicator of my situation today.

Stage 1 - Denial.

“This can’t be happening to me.” or “I can’t actually be doing this.”

Stage 2 - Anger.

“It isn’t fair. What did I do to deserve this?”

Stage 3 - Bargaining.

“How do I get him to come back?” or “Maybe I should stick this out and try to make it work.”

Stage 4 - Depression.

“I feel hopeless. Nothing matters anymore.”

Stage 5 - Acceptance.

“This relationship is over. I’ll be okay now.”

In the office, I deal with people that I can't afford not to look smart and profound so I have to leave my emotional burdens at home. So each moment I spend alone, I cried pretty much. There were times when I simply couldn’t stop crying like there is no more tomorrow. I just let the tears flow. The more tears I shed at the beginning, I believe the fewer I will have to cry in the days and months to come.

I slept with teary eyed last night as one friend advised, “Don’t minimize your grief. He is no more than a history while you’re not. You’ll feel better every day after this. Be strong.”

Posted in: quiet heart,starting anew