The First 100 Days of Us

We have officially hit our first big milestone: 100 days of marriage! Several days before, Stuart’s been keen on looking at his countdown-days-until-turned-countdown-days-since wedding mobile app. I woke up today to a cheesy message from him greeting me Happy 3rd monthsary! 

In one sense, it’s gone much more quickly than we thought it would. Certainly more quickly than the last 100 days of our engagement, which seemed to creep along at a snail’s pace. But at the same time, most days we have to think hard to remember what it was like before we were married, before we came home to the same place everyday, before we were living one life instead of two.

Apart from the daily grace of Jesus Christ, I am almost a savage person. When I was single, I’d see things in black and white. Because I’ve always had a reason for everything I do, I was quick to negate anyone’s ideas when I think they weren’t valid or well-researched. I was easily irritated by small interruptions, bothered by simple requests, and impatient with anything that I consider a waste of time. These and more have been laid down gently on the table when Stuart and I were answering our pre-engagement Q&A book. We’re both aware of these weaknesses and considered them as we continue to know more about each other.

After 100 days of being captivated in this new journey, the only thing I’m certain of is that marriage is God’s gift of grace – a wonderful gift that we will celebrate, cherish, and continue to work on together for His glory. And as we move on to the next chapter of our lives, we want to share a few important things we’ve learned on our first 100 days as Husband and Wife.

Everything is doubled…

We’ve got double the number of showers everyday, leaving each of us with half the contents of the hot water heater. Also, instead of keeping myself steady in the middle of my single bed as I did (before I was married), I now am upgraded to more than half of what Stuart can occupy in bed, which in itself isn’t a problem, because my husband is generous! (Haha!) We also doubled the loads of laundry, double the dishes to wash, double the clothes to press, double the meals to pack and preferences to consider at the grocery. Double the methods of doing…everything! 

…and then halved.

But we’ve also got just half of the house chores because we enjoy doing them together as a team. Having more time to spend at home gives me a good chance to serve my husband while he’s out there working. In those times when I’m awakened at night by an elbow on the side, I find it much easier to fall back asleep because I can just snuggle close to the warm body sleeping next to me – which is actually the opposite for him because my cold hands would always wake him up! (Haha!) As we learn to live and work and be as one instead, we are aware of the grace in these little moments, that – laundry and dishes, showers and sleep, collaboration and compromise – these are the building blocks we are using to build our life. When we were yet praying just individually before, today Stuart’s hand is always open to mine and we know God hears our prayers as one.

Really, it’s all grace.

We are still newlyweds, happy to be stuck in the honeymoon phase. We know that we are going to encounter different challenges and all the kinds of ups and downs, maybe even a mountain or ten. I’m not the kind of wife I want to be yet, but grace is making that journey possible. Grace is making this never-a-domesticated-self to the wife who can cook good meals and bake more cakes for my husband. Grace is making me able to seek and accept help, accountability, and even criticism. Grace is making me the wife who can humbly say sorry and mean it. 

God’s grace has gotten us through these first 100 days of marriage and the same will continue to sustain us through the thousands that are to come.

We look back with such joy on our wedding day, grateful for all of the people who made it possible, but even more for those who came and bore witness to our covenant. They will hold us accountable through the years as our marriage is tested, a knowledge that is precious to our hearts.

Posted in: answered prayer,love is all there is,unveiled wife