Wednesday, January 18, 2012
There I saw people in elegant apparel surrounding us. Flowers were everywhere. The food was overflowing. There were wonderful voices serenading the crowd. With no further ado, I would say it was a wedding. I was in that wedding and the most amazing thing was… I was the bride!
Although part of me struggled to convince myself that it all was just a dream, my smiles were priceless. I was stunned by the beauty around me ─ the colorful gowns, braided hair, glowing make ups, numberless gifts and the fragrance spilled out in the entire place. It was a complete picture of what I really wanted on my wedding day, except for one thing: I was there to marry a man I do not love.
As much as I could, I tried to sneak to his face and even wanted to memorize it for my own reference when I wake up. However, I failed. I just knew and was completely aware that our hearts cry for freedom while everyone around us was seemingly rejoicing. There pierced misery as he held my shaky hand to give me the ring. No tears though, I was sure he was crying inside like me. And just before the minister proclaim us as husband and wife, I woke up sweating.
Now at the marrying age, all I do is to use the available time practicing to be more patient and responsible while I am still single. I don’t just desire someone to like me at first sight because I am fully aware how marriage must go. I want to be a godly wife and to have children to rear in the fear of God, and I am unable to do this with an unbeliever. I will know whom to marry when the Lord tells me so, and it is not definitely through any of my dreams at night!
Although part of me struggled to convince myself that it all was just a dream, my smiles were priceless. I was stunned by the beauty around me ─ the colorful gowns, braided hair, glowing make ups, numberless gifts and the fragrance spilled out in the entire place. It was a complete picture of what I really wanted on my wedding day, except for one thing: I was there to marry a man I do not love.
As much as I could, I tried to sneak to his face and even wanted to memorize it for my own reference when I wake up. However, I failed. I just knew and was completely aware that our hearts cry for freedom while everyone around us was seemingly rejoicing. There pierced misery as he held my shaky hand to give me the ring. No tears though, I was sure he was crying inside like me. And just before the minister proclaim us as husband and wife, I woke up sweating.
Now at the marrying age, all I do is to use the available time practicing to be more patient and responsible while I am still single. I don’t just desire someone to like me at first sight because I am fully aware how marriage must go. I want to be a godly wife and to have children to rear in the fear of God, and I am unable to do this with an unbeliever. I will know whom to marry when the Lord tells me so, and it is not definitely through any of my dreams at night!
Posted in: making sense of life,prayers
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