I didn't give it up!

I can’t recall how many times and how many people have encouraged me to try taking the CPA Licensure Exam again. Unlike most of my batch mates, I just tried it once, a year after my graduation. My tolerance to failure is very low and so it really took a while before I was able to pull myself up again after that great fall. Perhaps being perceived as a strong-willed woman and being the eldest among four children, I also expected, in such a very big probability, that I would make it. However, it just didn’t happen ─ the Lord has better plans, I believed then.

Time and again when I see friends’ names posted on broadsheets and published online as new board passers, there comes something from within that bothers me. When I think of passing the exams, I imagine my parents’ fulfilled dreams, my sisters shared victory and the people’s priceless applaud. Such are so worth envisioning!

The years back then were far different from the present. I need to work harder. I have to focus on becoming a more diligent and desirable employee. And if I do not concentrate with my job now, I have no more time in the future when the kitchen and laundry will be the exclusive places I can be seen busy ─ when I already have a husband to serve and children to raise. Some people laugh at me for telling this, but this is how I really see myself. I don’t want to slog all my life in the office without a family of my own to come home to at the end of the day. I want to retire to my bed beside a loving provider surrounded by our little ones. I want to serve my purpose as a woman, and spend my remaining years on earth as full fledged mom.

Dreams. I didn't give up. Maybe God has shifted the steering wheel.

Posted in: girl thing,personal perspectives,prayers